| Reviews
First Review
“. . . a moving memoir that reveals the resilience of the
human spirit in the face of personal tragedy. I only wish every patient could
be so lucky to have such a devoted partner and advocate as John Davis.”
Katrina
Firlik, MD,
neurosurgeon and author of Another Day in the Frontal Lobe
Second Review
“In finding his mate and remembering his finest qualities, John has found a way to keep Jack’s
spirit alive, not only for John
himself but for others who knew and loved him, too, influencing who they are
now, and who they will become in the future. In this way, their connection
remains unbroken, and their love will endure forever. John’s
book is testimony to the fundamental
truth that love never dies.”
Martha
Tousley - APRN, BC,
FT, certified Fellow in Thanatology: Death, Dying and Bereavement
Third Review
Outstanding, heartfelt story of two lives torn apart by illness. , October 6, 2008
For 27 wonderful years, the author and his life partner Jack Orler (aka
"Jackie O") had a storybook romance. In their late 20's, they met at a
Halloween party, and each knew immediately they had found their "soul
mate," their muse, the person with whom the ultimate happiness could be
achieved. Jack was the mischievous "Lucy" to John's pragmatic "Ethel,"
and they brought out the best in each other and all of those around.
They relocated from their native rural Michigan town to Scottsdale,
Arizona, where Jack opened a successful hairstyling salon, while John
had a good job with the state. Jack's son from his marriage, Tom, whom
John had helped raise since they met, joined their move to Arizona some
years later, eventually marrying one of John's former co-workers, and
provided "Papa John" and "Papa John" with their first grandchild.
Unfortunately, this "storybook" had an unexpected and devastating
development in the chapter that began in 2004, when Jack went to a
doctor because of headaches he had suffered for a few weeks. It was
diagnosed as a brain tumor, not just cancer but the most aggressive
form of malignancy affecting the brain. With the alternative of a life
expectancy measured in weeks, Jack and John decided that Jack would
have the suggested surgery, which was considered successful if it got
"most" of the fast-spreading cancer, with an optimistic prognosis of
another year together. But that was the start of a downward spiral in
Jack's previously perfect health, increasing disabilities making him
unable to fend for himself, which drafted John into the role of
full-time caregiver. Jack's subsequent operations, treatments,
illness-related delusions and behavior problems were all problems they
faced together, but actually fell more on John's shoulders, who
strained to keep Jack's life as full and loving as possible. The
eventual death of Jack resulted in a near-breakdown by John, who had
been carrying the physical and emotional weight of keeping Jack alive
for the past 10 months, and now faced - all at once - his multitude of
feelings about the loss of the person who made his life worth living.
Writing this book - which also includes original poems written for
and about Jack, as well as their path together - was the way in which
John was finally able to verbalize his feelings and regrets, with the
hope that their story can help others dealing with catastrophic
illnesses and mourning. The book's sizable epilogue contains valuable
advice for caregivers, helpers, friends and medical professionals
dealing with similar situations, as well as a personal photo journal of
Jack and John together. This intelligent and heartfelt book is well
written, and unique in its dealing with this situation for unmarried
gay couples. Five stars out of five.
Four Review
Poignant, beautiful and charming
November 8, 2008
I was honored to have a part in the proofreading process of this
honestly written, heartfelt book, about true love and devastating loss.
The author writes from the depths of his soul after learning the news
of his beloved Jack's brain tumor, through his very detailed illness,
and finally his journey through mourning. A poignant, lovely story.
Karen Reddick, Editor and author of Grammar Done Right!
Fifth Review
Near the very end of my book in the Acknowledgment Section, which closes
the book, I spoke of a number of individuals who had made the writing of my
legacy to Jack possible. Faye Q. Heimerl (The Editor of Finding My banana Bread Man) was certainly one of those people. The
combination of her brilliant editing abilities and the emotions that flowed from
me following Jack’s death was a winning
combination. She is much more than “My
Editor” - she is “My Dear
Friend.” In the Acknowledge
Section of the book, I wrote the following about Faye – and the words still ring true
today:
“The content editing of this book
was completed by Faye Quam
Heimerl, who, in the course of this
venture, became my very good friend. Upon reading the original manuscript, she
asked me numerous probing questions, which allowed me to expand immensely on the
depth and meaning of the message provided. She was able to twist and shape the
contents of what you have just read and provide seamless movement from words to
poetry throughout the story. I treasure my connection to this gifted
professional.”
I truly believe that she is one of
the major reasons why no one who starts to read my book can put it down. The
book is kind of like Jack – “you just could not get enough of him once
you knew him.” How fitting that this would be the nature of the book written
in his honor.
Thank you, Faye, for making the book so real – so compelling - to
its readers.
Please visit Faye’s Blog and learn more about the woman who
helped me create “Finding My Banana
Bread Man.” Her Blog site is listed
here:
www.FayeQuamHeimerl.wordpress.com
If you click on the link above you will find Faye's special and kind words about "Finding My Banana Bread Man," which she has attached to her blog
If you ever need and
editor – she is superb!
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